DEEP IN THOUGHT

I’m running
And everything I see is blurred except the thoughts in my head.
They too are running around trying to catch themselves to create coherent, malleable truths.
Echoing the rhythm of my legs pumping, pushing and pulling all in the same instance
to project me forward.
If I can control my breathing then maybe I will feel in control of something. 
I’m running in circles slowly choking on my own dust left by my tracks.
Making tracks but losing my grip on the past, 
For those secrets are buried so deep that I don’t even know how to remember them.
Or if the ones I remember actually happened.
They’re dirt etched on my face leaving scars of wrongful pain and disdain.
I hurl myself forward, pushing myself to run faster.
No on can catch me now… though I’ve forgotten what I’m chasing after.
The dreams that I’ve dreamt are no longer exciting or new.
The fantasies I wrote about, all came true and now I have nothing to aspire to.
Hope keeps my breathing steady and my mind at ease.
Optimism has been by my side through all the trials.
Tribulations have been tests to surpass.
As my feet start to bleed, I feel no more pain.
I have hurt so much I have become immune.
I take the pain and make it my pleasure.
The blood cooling my heels, softening each step.
I find my rhythm as I enter my zone.
No one can penetrate me here, it is all that I own.
I let myself go, taking each stride one at a time.
Never waiting for the next, just pushing forward.
Epiphany slows run to a jog.
Smile takes over my face as I walk with speed.
Drive, ambition and dreams soak up my speed to a stroll.
I stand still and my mind starts to run